Over the puddles and through the woods....

a warrior dash training we go.
Our feet help us run, we're having such fun

And we hope we break no bo-ones

(that word is bones, stretched out......sing it to "Over the River and Through the Woods" in case you were confused)

So.  Less than a week to go.  And I've been beyond delinquent with posting.  I do have a valid, legitimate excuse though, at least in my opinion.  I've been rent-a-nanny for the past few weeks on and off.

My brother is stationed at Fort Dix right now, and is a single father of a very active three year old boy.  He's currently in air traffic control, and is working his butt off, but is on shift work which consists of two weeks of days and two weeks of nights.  During his weeks of nights, he goes in at 3 and gets home around 11, so normally his son goes into a baby sitter's house and falls asleep there until Kevin is able to pick him up.  Enter Auntie :)

I've gone down three times in the last four weeks to help out with Colton (his son) so that they could have some home cooked meals and quality time.  I'm loving the proximity and the fact that I get to see my brother and nephew more, and get to help out.  That said, it's fairly exhausting parenting a toddler, so I've been negligent with my postings because by the time I get him bathed and down to bed I'm about ready to crash and usually do.

Training has been going wonderfully now that we have the expanded terrain/area on which we go.  It's such a help having the extension of ground to cover to make it as close to the dash as humanly possible.  Rich (the guy with whom I'm running) is just in amazing shape.  He sets the pace for going up the hill and I do my best to try to catch him.  He stays about 5-8 minutes ahead of me, and I try to keep him in sight distance.  Unfortunately, every time I get closer, he pushes himself to try to lose me.  It's a fun game of cat and mouse that has really stepped up our run.  We're able to do the whole 3+ miles in 43 minutes.  I realize that sounds horribly lame, but if I had been able to get a video of the road on which we train, you'd understand it's much more of a steep hike than a flat jog around a level track, so keeping the pace and time that we have has made us very proud. 

I'm anxious to run/hike/jog the dash again this year, knowing what I'm facing.  Last year I completed it in one hour, one minute, twenty seconds.  My goal was to knock off at least 20 seconds this year, but I'll do the best I can.  I'm doing light training this week, drinking protein packed chocolate milk (mmmmm, milk) and picking up our team shirts. Yes, you read right, team shirts. 

I have a former business associate who owns a screen printing company.  He and his business are awesome.  Visit it at http://www.mixtureprints.com/ .  Chris does individual custom screen printing if you have a self design or only need a singular or few shirts made.  So tomorrow I get the LBC Warrior tanks that were made so we can be matching on Saturday.  We're going to have LBC Warriors on the front and our names on the back with the dates we're running.  I'll have last year's and this year's, and Rich will have this year's dates.  Every event we do, and every date we run we'll have added to the back of the tanks.  And if we have anyone else join the ranks, they'll get shirts too with their names and dates on the backs of them. 

I'm exhausted at this point, but cautiously optimistic about the run.  I'm hoping I do better this year but again, having had surgery in January, as long as I finish I'll be happy.  And with surgery about a month away, I'm cramming as much into my remaining weeks as possible.  As is, I have no clue how long it'll take my body to fully recover from this one and if I'll have full mobility afterward. 

So I'll try to update once more with the pic of the shirts.  And then, on Saturday at 9am, we run, we hike, we conquer.  And I'll do a post update for y'all with pics :)  

Thanks for your love, support, and prayers.  It means the world to me. 

Love ya,

B 

in the illustrious words of Monty Python...

And now for something completely different. 

I blog for family, friends, and self.  It's not necessarily therapy for me, but I've been hoping over the year I've been doing it that it wasn't just people I knew who had been reading it and upping my visitor count.  I've hoped that someone would find my blog who might be inspired, uplifted, encouraged, able to be helped in any way.  How excited was I that I got an email the other night from a gentleman who stumbled upon it through google searching. 

People ask me frequently if I ever blame or question God for what has happened to me over the years.  They say I have a right to be upset, and wonder why it isn't time for someone else to deal with an issue and for me to have a break.  For everyone who has questioned, I always reply the same.  If God can use me as a witness to anyone, so be it, and that I'm sure there is someone out there who is worse off than I.  And for all who think what I've been through is a lot, the man who contacted me puts me to shame.  I won't disclose personal details, but it's pretty remarkable that he is alive to even speak with me regarding his case. 

Basically, he was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2010, they tried every form of medication, and within a month he was in surgery.  They created a J pouch (common for Ulcerative Colitis), it went bad, and there were complications.  He had 4 major surgeries within a few weeks, including 3 in 3 days, went septic, went hemmoragic, ended up needing 30 pints of blood transfused, had a lung collapse, ended up on dialysis, and somehow managed to stay alive.  But through it all he managed to keep his strength and faith in the Lord.  Here is someone, wife, 5 sons, who could easily question God, blame God, get angry at God for the burden to himself, his family, his church, but instead found the blessing through it all.  His testimony astounds me and makes me feel remorseful for every time I've felt even the slightest bit sorry for myself.   

Why did he contact me, you might ask?  Well, come to find out he's not healing either from his last surgery, and will be undergoing the same surgery I will but a bit later on.  He too will be getting the gracilis cut out and stuffed in places unmentionable.  He too will have the worry and wonder of whether this one will be the one to work, or whether he'll be looking at more surgery down the road.  As nice as it is sometimes to know I'm not the only one going through it is as sad as it makes me to hear he is facing the exact same thing.  I would never wish this on my worst enemy, let alone a loving husband and father of five. 

I will be going through surgery before he, and hopefully will be able to give him pointers on the recovery, and be able to encourage his spirit and lift him up in prayer.  Afterall, who knows better than someone who has just gone through it? 

So every time you think of me, think of him too.  Think of how far he has come, and yet how far he still has to go.  Think of what he has to lose and how he still has chosen not to.  And though things in your life might not seem great at times, remember there is always, ALWAYS someone worse off than you are.  Life will work out.  Things will turn around and look up.  Just trust in the power of the Lord and put your faith and hope in him. 

Much love always,

B

T and A

but not what you're thinking.  Get your mind out of the gutter. 

So it was requested of me to share some training tips for training for the Warrior Dash, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.  I'm going to call it Training and Attitude.  Get it?  T and A?  Oh, never mind...

Below are some of the most helpful suggestions I can make for training for the dash.

1.  Be crazy.  No, seriously.  To even consider signing up for a race like this you have to have some element of crazy up in that noggin of yours.  Yes, I realize that it's not as difficult as say, Tough Mudder or Spartan Race, but if you're going to consider doing it, make sure you're prepared to NOT QUIT.  Show up.  Complete it.  There is very little chance of you winning.  Last year, on a black diamond slope on the side of the mountain, everyone went out to 'win it'.  The winner was untouchable.  He ran the whole course in 21 minutes, up a mountain, through all of the obstacles, and back down.  He was barely breathing hard upon his finish.  So don't plan on winning.  Plan on finishing.  The satisfaction is beyond what you can realize when you set out to do it.  But definitely do it.  All ages, all fitness levels.  There were 60 yr old mall walking women passing 20 yr old men.  All finished, and that's what matters :)

2.  If you're planning on running the NY, CO, or a few other ones that are on ski slopes, this is what I'd recommend.  Find the biggest hill or mountain you can and hike it to train.  If you're able, take your car and drive it first so you have an idea of how long it is.  If not, just hike it repeatedly, as frequently as possible.  If you're up to running do so, but don't feel it's necessary as the downhill portion of the race will more than make up some time and speed.  You'd pass people on the uphill as long as you're used to a steep incline.  If no such physical hill/mountain is available, find a treadmill and set it to the steepest incline and the fastest you can possibly do without falling backward on your bum.  If you want that added burn (like I've come to enjoy) add ankle weights and wrist weights, and even a weight belt or vest if you want.  When the time comes to run the dash for real, you'll be amazed at how easy it is without the extra 10-20 pounds you've gotten used to training with.  You'll feel light as a feather, but hopefully not stiff as a board.

3.  Don't learn to hydrate.  Drink as much as you can (water) day before training, but get used to training without water.  The reason why I mention this is there is a water station halfway through the race, and one at the finish, but unless you plan on running with a camelbak hydration pack (NOT advised) you'll be too used to having water along the way and really feel it on the day of when you don't have a bottle with you.  Post training beverage that is recommended is 1% low fat chocolate milk.  Seriously.  MMMMMM. 

4.  Spit happens.  Yes, spit.  As in thick, globby, foamy, lugie-esque spit.  Be prepared to launch it out of your mouth.  Expectorate (oooh, big fancy word).  Just make sure there is no one behind you on which it will land squarely because eew.  It's the common courtesy of running.  Spit not on those behind, but spit to the side into the bushes, and do it as frequently as its needed.

5.  Be aware that the later the time you sign up for, the hotter the temperature and the messier the course. 

6.  Wear fabric that dries quickly but does not chafe.  You don't want fabric burns in places unmentionable that you'll be dealing with for a while afterward.  And wear clothing that dries quickly.  I saw more pairs of underwear last year than I care to remember.  Guys and girls were wearing heavy cotton shorts, and once they (and their cotton underwear) were wet, they had to run the whole rest of the race pulling up their drawers so as not to flash the general public and have the humiliation of shrinkage since the water is quite chilly.  I wore a bikini bottom under fast drying tight elastic waisted shorts, so that they didn't weigh me down.  Some people ran in jeans last year.  Why?  I think they were embarrassed about their bodies.  Trust me, no one is looking at your body.  No one cared about my stretch marks up and down my legs from years of prednisone.  No one cared about my ostomy (not that I was flashing it around).  It was all about encouragement and camaraderie, not trying to look hot and pick up chicks/dudes.  Just don't end up with 15 extra pounds because your clothing is waterlogged.

7.  Be prepared to run it solo.  I did last year.  I had people who said they would run it with me and none did.  I didn't let it stop me.  I pushed myself, and so did complete strangers.  It's an amazing feeling to be with a ton of people you don't know and have them rooting for you too, and you for them.  If you can find a partner, more power to you.  If you can't, do it solo. 

8.  Get a good pair of trail running sneakers.  Again, blogged about earlier, but they are light weight, fast draining/drying, with great stability and support.  This is essential to doing it properly.  I really enjoy my montrail rockridge.  Froogle for the best price.  And as trashed as they were after the dash, I brought them home, hosed them out, and tossed them and their insoles in the washer.  When I tell you they look and function like new, I'm not even kidding.  Well worth the investment as far as I'm concerned, and I'm getting multiple uses out of them.  Woo woo!  And don't wear heavy thick socks that will feel like you're running on sponges.  I have the low ankle ones, cotton, but thin.  They provide a barrier between foot and sneaker, but aren't gushy once wet.  I think I got the three pack at Kohl's for 5 bucks.  Just thin and low.  That's essential. 

9.  Bring a towel and dry clothing.  You'll stink to high heaven.  So will everyone else.  But to not have to smell yourself the whole way home, make sure you have at least something dry and non stinky to change into.  The 'showers' are pvc pipe with holes punched in them and a hose attached.  They aren't powerful, but they get a bit of the grime off.  If you don't like dirt and mud, don't do it, or suck it up and step out of your comfort zone for once.  Again, well worth it. 

10.  Have fun.  Regardless of the weather, the company, the scrapes/bumps/bruises, just have fun.  Your attitude makes all the difference between how you enjoy it.  Be proud of yourself.  And wear your medal for the full week afterward.  You earned it.  I know I did.  And it was a great conversation piece :)

Okay, that's it for now.  T and A for you.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will update on health in a day or two.  Hopefully this Saturday I'll take a vid of the hill driving it so you can see on what I train.  Hopefully.  We shall see. 

Love ya,

B

she'll be climbing up the mountain when she comes.....yee haw!

Oh.

My.

Word. 

What have I gotten myself into again?  I've reflected several times this year on having done the dash last year, and whether I would have actually gone through with it if I had known what I know now about it.  Truthfully, I was as unprepared as a person could be (even though I thought I was) and yet somehow with no partner, pushed through and finished.  From what I can gather, it was only by the grace of God.  And my sheer stubbornness. 

Rich, Sarah, and I have started walking Old Indian Road, as it's pretty much a mountain doppelganger to Windham, just shorter.  Starting in mid May we walked the hill once up and once down (it's 3/4 of a mile each way) after church.  After almost passing out with the extreme heat we'd had, we've now switched our time to early Saturday mornings.  Throughout June we have been walking full up, halfway down, back up to the top again, and then full down, which is the equivalent of 3/4 of the dash.  Thing is, we're doing it with wrist and ankle weights on, so that when we actually get ready to do the dash it will be easier on our bodies.  Talk about ultimate strengthening.  Or just being plain nuts.  Either way....

We're able to do do the up, half, half, down, in 40 minutes, which isn't terribly bad with weights on.  What I'm hoping is to be able to knock a few minutes off my time from last year.  Again, though, having had surgery in Jan, as long as I finish I'll be a happy happy girl.  I'll see if I can do a vid this Saturday and post it so you get an idea of how steep the hill that we're training on is.  It has this one point where we kind of have to hike it or we'd roll. 

The awesome thing is, I've resumed chocolate milk after exercise mandate, so we all get to thoroughly enjoy Stewart's chocolate milk upon completion. 

What we're going to do is round out June with the full, half, half, full.  We'll do July with two full ups (we'll do a car exchange thingie to make it as realistic as possible) followed by two full downs.  And for the first week in August, we'll take off the weights and see just how fast we can do the whole thing start to finish, knowing that we'll be running on on August 13.  Well, Rich and I will be running it.  Sarah is just doing the training for fun, but says that next year she'll run it with us.  Next year, though, I'm threatening both the dash AND tough mudder as long as I don't need yet another surgery....

So.  I'm going to start running the smaller hills around my house again.   I've clocked it, and I'm coming in at 30 seconds faster than last year on my mile, at 9:30, so I'm a bit encouraged about that.  And though I plan to hike up Windham this year and not kill myself attempting to run, I know I can run any little flats and the full downhill to make up time, and that excites me. 

Have heard I haven't updated this enough lately, so I'll try to start posting weekly with run updates, training tips, etc.  OH, and I went to my first ostomy support group meeting.  I'll blog that separately next, but how very interesting. 

Love ya!

B

so...

A doctor walks into a room.  He talks to the patient about the newest surgery that's going to be needed, and asks about the patient's ileostomy and whether it's working well or not.  She assures him it is, but that healing after surgery is going to be a crap shoot.  He looks at her, deadpan, and says "literally."

ba dum ching!

get it?  ileostomy?  as a crap shoot?  oh, forget it. 

Honestly, I had an interesting meeting with Dr. Lee yesterday.  It was the first meeting I was going into where I already knew what was going to happen, what needed to be said, so nerves really weren't that high.  Truthfully, I'm kind of taking this surgery in stride.  That's not to say that it's not going to be a major major surgery, which it will, but how else can I view it but with humor?

The crap shoot?  Yeah, had Dr. Lee laughing with that one.  When we discussed what Dr. Polynice was going to do to my thighs, and that only one might be involved?  I again had Dr. Lee laughing and shaking his head when I said "I don't care if he does both.  At least then they'll be even!"  And later, when discussing which surgeon would be doing what, in my oh-so-delicate manner, I said "And you'll be reaming me out" much to Dr. Lee's amusement.  Sometimes I think he's not quite sure how to take me, but at least I can stay positive and joke about it, and I think that might be refreshing?  Beats me. 

So the surgery is going to be a bit bigger than expected, which is fine with me.  Dr. Lee is of the opinion (as am I) that as long as I'm under, it's better to open me up abdominally and make sure there is NOTHING overlooked.  It would suck to do this surgery without the abdominal component, and 3 months later develop another sinus from whatever would still be going on abdominally that we happened to overlook.  So Dr. Lee is going to cut the gut, make sure that's okay inside and if it's not, fix whatever is wrong.  Then he's going to open up and ream out my rectal sinus that's not healing, and he'll be closing me up abdominally while Dr. Polynice and his team will start with the gracilis cutting and stuffing into the butt.  The new expectation of time, with two surgical crews working on me simultaneously, is 6ish hours, give or take depending on what Dr. Lee finds abdominally. 

Surgery is scheduled for September 14th at this point, which means I get to do the dash AND have my birthday before going under the knife again.  That alone makes me happy. 

I started training last Sunday with my little walking group.  We're planning on continuing every Sunday until the dash to improve our strength and time.  I'll post separately regarding training. 

So that is all for now.  No more follow up appointments until my pre surgical workup, the week of.  I get to enjoy the summer, work hard at training, and get myself in great shape before surgery. 

Love to all and thanks for the thoughts and prayers.  Now for training and Chocolate milk, hummus and hula.  Whatever I can do to keep in shape and kick that dash's tush. 

kiss.hug.love

B

no more thigh master for me...

the horror!  not that I did it anyway.  Ever.  But at least for a while, Suzanne Somer's miracle thigh thingie and I will not be formally acquainted.

So I went to see Dr. Polynice today.  And, it's not an if, it's officially a when.  I will be needing surgery.  It will involve one, or possibly both of my thighs.  And the research that I did, though competent for healing other more shallow types of wounds, would not in fact work on my tush.  The GOOD thing is, I will not be getting my butt cheek peeled off and stitched back on like I had found in my research of the gracilis muscle surgery for the perineal sinus region.  At least my cheeks stay intact, and I'm sooooo happy about that.

So this is what's going on.  Essentially, I'm "almost" healing from below, but there is granular tissue inside that has formed a pocket of non-healing area.  It's like the tissue is too saturated by itself to fully knit together.   What happens, what I presumed to be pus, is actually sloughing of the granular tissue to the outside.  Had the hole completely closed off like it was supposed to, it would have formed a large and nasty abscess.  So, in this case, not completely healing was a blessing.

Surgery, again at Albany Med, will go something like this: a 5ish hour surgery during which both Dr. Lee and Dr. Polynice will scrub in.  My tush will once again be excised by Dr. Lee, clearing out any of the nasty non-healing tissue.  Dr. Polynice will cut into one (or both) of my thighs.  There will be an incision made from the inner thigh/groin area down about 1/3 of the way, and another one down by my knee.  The one by my knee will disconnect the gracilis muscle ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracilis_muscle) from its attachment at the bottom, and the upper incision will allow Dr. Polynice to thread the muscle (one of the less necessary adductor muscles) through the pelvis and into the pocket of non healing area in the perineal sinus area.  Because the muscle is still connected at the upper end of the leg, it will have its own blood supply, thus stimulating proper healing and tissue growth in the sinus and healing this issue up once and for all.  He may need to cut into both thighs if the muscle from just one isn't sufficient enough to fill up however big the hole is internally. 

I asked about success rate, and though this isn't a common surgery to be performed, Dr. Polynice has had complete success with it.  Let's hope my body allows that track record to continue.  Healing/recovery time is looking like a few days in the hospital, a few weeks at home with drains in the leg and probably the sinus area, and hopefully total healing within a month.  Hopefully.  That's if my body decides to fully accept the surgery this time.  But at least Dr. Polynice has been forewarned about my lack of healing prowess :)

There is no surgery date set yet.  I go back to see Dr. Lee and Jody on Thurs (May 5) and I'm assuming we'll go from there for scheduling. 

That is all for now, folks.  In the meantime, I'm starting training (walking) this Sunday for the dash.  I've gotten myself a kickin' set of ankle weights with adjustable weight pockets, so they can range from nothing to 2.5 lbs per leg.  As I get more into training, those things will whip my legs into shape really quickly.  And I got a 5lb kettle bell, since I have a love affair with them, and I fully intend to start using that to strengthen core and upper body. 

Will post after Sunday, and again on Thursday.

Much love,

B

Oh, and with this being my 4th surgery at AMC, do I get my free vacation now?  I really think they owe me one after 4 surgeries in a year and a half.  Maybe they should send me on one just to keep me away from it, like a bribe to heal.  "If you promise to heal and NOT come back, we'll send you away for a week to some place tropical, where no one cares if you're already missing organs."  Sweet.  I'd buy into that club any day. 

Oh, and extra added bonus.  There's not much of me left that anyone could sell on the black market, so I never have to worry about the urban legend of the ice in the bathtub.  Extra added bonus :)

I get to see a plastic surgeon!

No no no.  Don't get your hopes up.  It's not for anything fun, trust me.  My dreams of having leg extensions to be over 5' still is not happening.  The surgeon actually does plastic AND reconstructive surgery, and possibly will be handling my next tush surgery.

I went to see Dr. Lee on Thursday, and the appointment went a bit as expected.  I told Dr. Lee that during the three weeks he had me off the antibiotics, the bleeding returned and the pus returned more, as did the abdominal pain and back pressure.  My butt is being a pain in the butt and NOT healing!   Bottom line, I don't know why.  My dentist (who also has Crohn's Disease and a permanent ileostomy) has his own theories.  He said he read research recently that children who develop Crohn's at an early age grow into adults that don't heal properly.  Because the body is constantly fighting against the Crohn's, it never fully develops the proper healing pathways necessary to fight certain types of things.  He thinks that, since I've had Crohn's since I was very young and now am having difficulty with a formerly Crohn's affected area, that it could be the cause of some of my problems. 

Anyhow...

So Dr. Lee, Jodi (the WOC nurse who also conferences in with us), mom and I discussed what is the next course of action.  Because Dr. Lee did my initial surgery during Feb 2010, and second surgery Jan 2011, and a year and 3 months later I'm still not healed, we need to look toward doing another surgery to see what's going on.  We're just not sure if it will be a big surgery or an even bigger one at this point.  Dr. Lee said he's not sure if he would want to do an exploratory surgery (abdominal/rectal) to make sure there is no fistula or anything going on internally that shouldn't be.  What he's recommending is that I go to see Dr. Alain Polynice, a plastic and reconstructive surgeon with whom Dr. Lee has worked in the past in the very few cases he has seen like mine.  Dr. Polynice is brilliant in his field too.  Seriously.  At least I'm in capable hands with both of my surgeons :) 

Normal people heal properly for Dr. Lee.  I, as you all know, am not normal.  So, I have an appointment with Dr. Polynice scheduled for April 26 in Latham, with a follow up with Dr. Lee after that.  The surgery that Dr. Polynice would do is something like this: they will cut a muscle out of my thigh (one that the body doesn't really use, kind of like an appendix of thigh muscles), somehow pull it through my pelvic area, and sew it in place between the butt to try to encourage healthy tissue growth and a full recovery.  Dr. Lee told me this is a major surgery (oh joy) but at this point, what other options do I have?  It's either I go on with a leaky tush indefinitely, or get a surgery done.  If I do need the plastic surgery one, I'm going to see if he can even out my other thigh while he's at it.  Maybe I can get a 2 for 1?  Never hurts to check.

BUT.  and this is a big BUT (and no, not mine) there is something called the VAC system.  It's vacuum assisted closure, developed for people that don't heal well (like diabetes and aids patients).  I mentioned it to Dr. Lee and he wasn't familiar, so I sent him the medical journal with the study in it, and he said he'll look it over.  What I'm thinking, if he was to do the exploratory surgery to make sure there was nothing major that was overlooked, and everything looked fine, then we should do the VAC.  It's taken people who previously had chronic perineal sinus (what I'm dealing with) and healed them in 18-25 days.  By keeping the area sterile, it allowed healthy tissue to grow where it wouldn't previously, and they are fine now.  Wouldn't that be nice?  I will gladly go through another abdominal surgery if it meant my tush would be closed/healed without having to cut into my thigh. 

I swear, at some point I'm going to change my name to Sally and get tattoos on all of my scar sites to look like stitching.  After that, all I'd have to do is find my Jack and life would be great!  Kidding.  Sort of.  :)

So that's all for now.  Will keep you posted as to what Dr. Polynice says.

In the meantime, I swear to you, come hell, high water, or surgeries, I'm going to do the dash again.  The only thing that would stop me is the Apocalypse at this point.  Which may or may not happen, starting May 21.  We shall see.  As I start to train, I'll post about that too.  Can't wait to do it!

Love ya,

B   

surgery on hold....for now...

So, went to see Dr. Lee first thing Monday morning.  You know that you're there more than you should be when 1, all the nurses recognize you by name and 2, the office and booking staff says "you're back already?  that's NOT a good thing." 

Dr. Lee examined me and came up with one of two situations to have caused what I went through on Saturday.  Because I'd had some pelvic pain prior to this happening he thinks that it was possibly a pocket of leftover fluid from the last surgery that got trapped inside and forced its way out through my reproductive areas as the path of least resistance out of my body, and that it was a one time thing and it will not happen again.  It was a little thicker than I think it would have been to have been just fluid, but that's just my opinion.  This is scenario #1, or the best case scenario.

Scenario #2 is the worst case, which is that there is in fact a fistula between the small intestine and reproductive areas.  If it is this case, it will in fact happen again, be it sooner or later, and will require major abdominal surgery to fix it.  We are all hoping this is not the case as it would set me back at least 8 weeks in recovery. 

So now we wait.  I'm back to not driving again, as we don't want to exacerbate anything.  I've had more "stuff" come out since I started eating again.  I'm not contacting Dr. Lee right away though.  I'm going to wait until it either happens again or I start having a severe amount of pain, whichever comes first.  It's beyond frustrating that my body just won't be normal. 

If anything changes, I'll keep you posted. 

Love ya,

B 

Oh. Crap. Literally.

Oh boy, where to begin....

I went for my follow up this past Thursday with Dr. Lee and am still not totally healing, so they switched me to a silver cream to try to speed up my tushie healing process.  I was going to comment on how I have a silver plated rear and how I hope it doesn't get stolen or something dumb like that, but time for jesting is over.  We were just going to wait and follow up in 3 weeks and hope for the best in the meantime.  As usual, my lovely body had other plans.

Friday I went to see a caterer with whom I've worked, had lunch there, helped out a bit in the kitchen.  I had a fabulous time out of the house for the day and really enjoyed being behind a knife and prep table.  As a thanks, he fed me an amazing calamari salad for lunch and sent me home with some food for dinner, 4 gourmet soups, thai noodle salad (that I helped make), moroccan couscous, and a huge loaf of freshly baked still warm bread.  It was a good day.  My parents and I ate, cleaned up, and I got ready for bed in anticipation of going to see my aunt for an overnight (Saturday to Sunday).  But....yeah...

I woke up Saturday morning feeling fine as always, went potty, and flipped out.  I had stool coming out of my vaginal area.  Ummm, in case you don't realize, I HAVE NO RECTUM.  This means most likely I have a fistula connecting my uterus to my small intestine.  Awesome.  I flipped and called Dr. Lee immediately, especially since I had just been up there not 2 days prior.  He recommended I eat very little and drink very little and to see him first thing Monday morning at his office, which I will happily do.  I'm actually eating nothing (think self imposed colonoscopy prep without the laxative) and sticking strictly to clear liquids.  I don't want any matter going through my intestine that may put pressure on a fistula and possibly cause leakage into my gut.  So all day yesterday and all day today I'm on water, Stewart's half and half (iced tea lemonade mix), and whatever else I want to drink that's clear, and I'll be seeing Dr. Lee tomorrow morning asap.

What we're all assuming is a fistula.  I'm hoping (but will probably not be so lucky) that he can do a dye test to diagnose it and not a barium swallow.  I hate barium, especially on a totally empty stomach of two days, not to mention the amout of pressure it causes inside.  Because fistulas don't fix themselves, at least to the best of my research and knowledge, this probably means surgery, probably Tuesday.  Oh joy.  So I'm intending on bringing my laptop with me this time and blogging from the hospital, morphine and all.  And as soon as I find out tomorrow just what my body has done to itself this time, I'll update on the specifics of what, where, and why. 

Prayers are appreciated, but most importantly for my parents and surgeon.  I can't believe we are all going through this again.  AGAIN.  I swear, they should have a frequent surgery program club card at Albany Med.  Wouldn't that be nice, have 4 surgeries, get a vacation on them for when you're healed up.  Maybe I should suggest that on their comment cards....never know....

Signing off for now and packing my surgical/hospital bag.  Will keep you posted when I know more. 

Love ya,

B

  

just call me honey buns.....

or was it sweet cheeks?  I just can't seem to get away from the lovely tush analogies.  Smearing a butt with honey will do that to a person.  Let's just hope I'm done using the medihoney by summer.  I don't feel like being chased by bees...

Again, I find myself back using medihoney to try to heal the surgical sight.  My antibiotics have been switched from dicloxacillin to bactrim.  I'm just not healing.  Still.  Frustration is abounding on all sides, from Dr. Lee because he performed the surgery by the book and my body hates healing for no good reason.  I asked Dr. Lee what the chances are that this could really happen a second time, and he just kind of looked at me with a "your body sucks at healing" look.  For the healing issues to happen once, especially with Crohn's Disease, not out of the realm of possibility.  For history to be repeating itself, especially when the second surgery was done so well and looked like there should be no cause for it not to?  Yeah....welcome to my body.  And trust me, it isn't as much fun as it sounds wearing sweats all the time. 

I'm staying in sweats because the tush scar tissue gets chaffed if anything tighter than sweats rubs against it.  I tried very loose fitting corduroy pants, and they put so much pressure on the area and chaffed so badly I couldn't wait to get back into sweats.  I can NOT wait until I'm finally healed up, and I'm hoping that will be sooner than later.  Oh, for skinny jeans and 4" heels again.   

I go back next week.  Will update after that.  All I know is we are not waiting a whole year again to see if I'll eventually heal.  We'll be a bit more proactive.